Are we there YET??

I feel kind of useless writing a post when I frankly have nothing I want to discuss. But writing had been helping me, and since I'm on such a good streak, I'll do whatever it takes to stay in this mindset.

In terms of my dilemma with what I should be doing with my life... Well I never thought it would be easy to reach my goal, but I certainly didn't think it was going to be that hard figure out what that goal was in the first place! I've been wracking my brain trying to think of the things I could do that I can enjoy thoroughly, that will make me feel that I am contributing something worthwhile to the world and, of course, pay the bills. It's proving much more difficult than I had thought possible! 

The office is becoming a place more and more frustrating to be. I used to love going into work and dropping (most) of my problems at the door so I could mindlessly immerse myself into my routine. Now, I drag my ass  to my desk and check the clock too often, silently praying that it's 3:30... to find that it's only noon. Being busy used to make my days fly by. Now, I'm still busy but the days feel like eternity.

I find I have to remind myself constantly that I am still (relatively) young and have plenty of time to reorganize my life. This because I'm starting to feel as though every minute I spend in this stagnant state I've unknowingly been in for years is a complete waste of my time. And now that I have this fire inside, this momentum I need to move forward, I worry it won't last and I'll settle back into a state of apathy. 

Humans have a habit of getting comfortable and staying where they feel safe and secure. It's a cycle I've found myself falling into a number of times, just like everybody else on the planet. But I actually thrive on change. I relish the opportunity to do all sorts of strange things not every one would be comfortable with. This is why I have never held a job position for more than three years. It's the reason I want to throw myself into the wide world, experience and learn every thing I can. 

The best I can do to satisfy my needs at the moment is taking small pleasure in long car rides and losing myself in books.

It may be wishful thinking but I must obtain the elusive win!

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