The thing I am noticing most about these periods of happiness is that they are both a blessing and a torture. They are amazing because I feel back to my old self, and they're torture because, try as I may to remain constantly positive, eventually something will happen to bring me right back down to where I hate being.
I can remain undaunted by one emotional blow. Through a second blow, I can still look on the bright side. But there's only so many little things that can pile on before it becomes too much for me to handle and retaining that optimistic attitude becomes draining. I don't like to give up, and nothing frustrates me more than hearing some one say "Fuck it, I give up." But I'm kind of there, and it feels better than stress.
Any way, moving on. I actually had subject in mind when I started this post, so lets get to it.
Let me paint a picture for you...
Let's say that you've met some one. They're attractive, interesting, and fun to be around and by some stroke of luck, they are displaying an interest in you. As any one would do, you spend time with that person to determine whether or not a relationship is an endeavour you should bother setting out on. You tell each other about your past, your background, your goals and dreams.
Eventually, the conversation will lead you to more unsavory topics. Let's face it: no one has had a perfect life, and every one makes mistakes. You have to take the bad if you decide to pursue the good. Say, for instance, the conversation leads to the subject of infidelity. You can relay your experiences with it, whether you've cheated or been cheated on. And when you ask person if they've ever cheated on a significant other, they adamantly tell you they've never done it.
Of course, you want to believe what they're telling you is true - you may be the type of person who has complete trust in some one until they've let you down. And of course, the more you become infatuated with this person, the more you want them to be perfect in your eyes so you can justify getting into a relationship with them.
But lets say a few months into knowing this person, they let it slip they had been unfaithful to an old lover or a spouse. What happens then?
On the one hand, it's good to know that this person has been honest in regards to a subject that is touchy with you... but on the other, that person straight-up lied to your face so they would continue to look good in your eyes.
So the million dollar question is: do you continue to trust this person, or is the trust shattered?
If it was me, I'd be very confused about the situation for various reasons, the first being that, while I understand every one's entitled to omit certain information, I cannot stand being lied to. When some one lies to me, I feel like they must think I'm stupid. But I almost always know when I'm being lied to, and I have no qualms with getting to the bottom of it (normally with mad Jedi mind tricks that stun people into telling the truth without realizing). To bring my intelligence into question by lying to me would only be a detriment to the other party, so why bother?
The second issue I take with the scenario is that I don't think I'd like the other party not letting me decide for myself if this was information to take into consideration when deciding how I feel about them. I rarely have an issue with laying everything bare - I know that I appreciate honesty, so I try to be honest in all my dealings - and I don't think it's too much to expect the same.
On the flip-side, I used to be in the habit of overlooking all of potential partners flaws in order for them to remain golden in my eyes. It was really bad habit that I picked up back when I thought being in relationship what paramount and I would do just about anything to make a relationship work. So, if I made the decision to overlook this one lie, would I be reverting to old desperate tendencies?
It's a toughy, right?