I am happy to say that today wasn't a complete fucking failure! While there is still a particular trigger that makes me instantly upset (I'm talking so mad/sad I get physically ill), I managed to nip most of the bad thoughts in the butt with the power of positive thinking:
- When I was in my last relationship, I was never able to wear high heels because I am already very tall and didn't want to dwarf my boyfriend. Now that I am single and have miraculously found long pants, I've been rocking heels non-stop. It's fantastic! Added bonus? Taking off one pair of heels to slip into a smaller pair feels like heaven.
- Despite all my efforts to change the fact, I am at heart a very girly girl. Doing my hair and makeup is like a little ritual where I get to reflect on my good features and bolster my self esteem. It's soothing to me. I have successfully mastered the art of liquid eyeliner and am now a motherfucking god at giving myself cat eyes, and I have my hair trained to do whatever I want it to.
- I have what is undoubtedly the worlds most laid-back office job. I can start and leave when I want to as long as I put in a days worth of hours (7-3? Um, yes please!) and they give practically zero fucks about what I wear. I kid you not, I have showed up in yoga pants before. Might do it again tomorrow, because sitting in a chair all day with your jeans digging into your gut is tiring. I deserve comfort!
- Breathe in, breath out, let go, be fine. Breathe in, breath out, let go, be fine.