A day.

I can't believe it's nearing the end of the month again! Time is just slipping by too fast - sometimes it's a blessing. 

I felt great today, and even when I though I came close to slipping and plummeting into the Chasm of Funk, I managed to snap out of it right quick. Without feeling shitty for having been brought low in the first place, which I'm so happy I was able to. I am pleased with my progress. 

I've been trying out mindfulness meditation lately. I can honestly say that up till Sunday night, I had never had success with meditation of any kind. How does any one shut their brains up when there is so much to think/worry about? But I guess that's the point, shutting it up. It was the oddest, but most pleasant sensation, this being simply in the "now". Not beating myself up over mistakes I made yesterday, or worrying about what mistakes I may make tomorrow. It was bliss, really. The only thing I can liken it to is sex (passionate, not obligatory), because those are probably the only times I've ever been able to completely focus on nothing but the moment I'm living. Well, and maybe singing a song I can really put my soul into (I like that I can channel the emotion the song evokes without having to think about what made me feel that way).

On that note, I'm hoping to add something new to my routine. If I can find it online, I want to meet people who want to make music. Nothing serious, just as a release. I can sing -well, I like the sound of my voice though few others have heard it, I get compliments - I can and pick up songs well enough on the piano. If I can't find anyone to pay with for fun, and if I can swing it financially, I might try taking up lessons. I've had this brand-new and untouched guitar sitting in my living room since July...

Things I was grateful for today:

  • great hugs
  • busy work day
  • an engrossing book
  • coming home to flowers

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